Baron Dave Romm (barondave) wrote,
Baron Dave Romm
barondave

NaLiWriMo Day Five: Dirty Limericks, Strange Intercourse

Excerpted from The Limerick: 1700 Examples with Notes, Variants and Index. The Famous Paris Edition, Complete and unexpurgated

To inspire and cajole during National Limerick Writing Month, I turn to a book which I literally found on the steps of the Bozo Bus Bldg nearly 30 years ago. Chock full of dirty limericks, it has barely survived several moves and is falling apart. I present a few of them here, from the chapter "Strange Intercourse", behind a cut because I must protect innocent eyes (yes, you).

[Hope the formatting works on your system]

A young polo-player of Berkeley
Made love to his sweetheart berserkly
In the midst of each chukker
He would break off and fuck her
Horizontally, laterally, and verkeley.

Though the invalid Saint of Brac
Lay all of his life on his back
His wife got her share
And the pilgrims now stare
At the scene, in his shrine, on a plaque

There once was a Duchess of Bruges
Whose cunt was incredibly huge
Said the King to this dame
As he thunderously came
"Mon Dieu! Aprés moi, le déluge!"
[ I don't speak French, so I hope that's appropriate]

A talented fuckstress, Miss Chislholm,
Was renowned for her fine paroxysm
While the man detumesced
She still spend on with zest
Her rapture sheer anachronism

[Hmm... my spell checker doesn't have "detumesced" What prudes.]

[One more, loosely inspired by the Yankees 27th World Series victory]

A team playing baseball in Dallas
Called the upire a shit out of malice
While this worthy had fits
The team made eight hits
And a girl in the bleachers named Alice

Okay, enough for today. Maybe more later during NaLiWriMo. No promises.
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