August 27th, 2006

New Tilley Hat

Sharing Pluto's Demotion

A Shockwave Top 11 List

Pluto was demoted from "planet" to "dwarf planet" by the International Astronomical Association. The other eight "wanderers" are now Planets Classic and will be marketed with a new red stripe and Michael Jackson.

Well, sure, fine. The new definitions won't change how science is conducted, and won't stop astronomers from peering through telescopes. The is PR only, sort of like a Bush press conference. But as long as we're redefining the Solar System, let's examing a few other lists. Herein we present:

The Top 11 Things Which Deserve Demotion

11. Commandment Number 9, Thou Shall Not Bear False Witness. With so many self-proclaimed "Christians" lying and believing lies the name of Jesus, and doing it for legal proceedings such as declaring war or passing environmental laws, clearly telling the truth has no place in the religious pantheon. The Nine-Commandment Christians can now rest easy that the sin of lying is considered too small to guarantee eternal damnation. The 9th Commandment is now a suggestion.

10. Doc. Six Dwarves can handle the mining while Doc can work full time finding a way to relieve the symptoms of Sneezy, a prescription stimulant for Sleepy and a development program for Dopey. Don't consider it a demotion, Doc, consider it a research grant.
the rest behind the cutCollapse )